Daniel Johnston XD
Haha, ten points for Daniel Johnston XD
Voice Acting Handicap
The teeth gnashingly annoying "kid making fun of stuff in his room" voice acting totally handicaps an otherwise decent cartoon. You need to be careful with that.
Fives and Tens for you!
This has always been my favorite animation on Newgrounds.
Could Use Better Voice Acting
I enjoy the randomness, but it could use some better voice acting. The animation had character. I always enjoy pieces in black and white, though. Might be the cinemaphile in me.
Yeah i'm not a good voice actor. Probably because i got a potatoe stuck in my mouth.
Great animation. Fairly amusing, somewhat insightful. I think the production quality was somewhat let down by the less than brilliant material, though it is not particularly bad. Perhaps just lackluster. Amusing to watch the conservative stereotype to be walked all over, yet there could have been more done with it. Explore the ideas a little more thoroughly next time, and maybe the material will be a bit funnier. Not bad, though :)
Better with each elaboration!
The series is more and more entertaining with each expansion. To see the vague overview of a larger encompassing storyline succeeds in making the series more and more interesting.
There were no particular comedic gaffs, though there were a couple minor (very minor) lulls. The walking boobs were a little out of place, I think, but it was far from taking away from the piece. And you really do love those gay jokes, don't you?
What I liked most was very briefly seen in this piece, and that is Mastermind's loneliness. I think if you were to elaborate on this, which I think could be the backbone of the series, you would need to work a little more closely with the voice actor to get the nuance of his sadness just right (the voice actor seemed to glaze over this element a little too inconsiderately, though that is not to say the voice actor is bad at all: he's fantastic, but should really put alot of love into this aspect).
And the art is georgeous as usual, jealously so. It is no doubt one of the main draws to the series.
I would say it would be nice to see a bit more action going down than just a couple people standing around bantering. It is a piece on war and dictatorship, so there must be something more you can do than having people stand around, and then the occasional physical outburst. Most of the action that does take place is more or less a side note. Though, I suspect there isn't very much of a premeditated storyline, so it would be hard to show action when there's no action to tell. Still, it's a joy to watch you wing it :)
This is Not Flash
When that thing in the leaves was beckoning Joshua I said out loud "Follow the fucking thing!" and then the narration went "Joshua followed the thing... etc." This amused me :)
Anyway, the animation was very cool and fit the tone of the piece very well. Unfortunately, though, it is not flash animation. I would actually call for this to be disqualified from any sort of awards, for submitting it is the equivelant of submitting a you tube video.
The story was very glum and a bit draining. I think the direction the story went required a bit more charm in order to be more of successful accomplishment (art wise).
It boiled down to little more than a general sort of pat on the back type encouragement to unhappy people, though I wouldn't call it bad. I think the story just comes off as a little average or common. It sort of felt like a work training video. I think it could have been more than just that if there were a little more fun to be had in its creation, or if it went about things in a more interesting manner.
You definitely have talent. The animation is very cool, and the narration fits. But it lacked a little oompf. I think it was just a bit too common or typical. Don't let that get you down, though. The delivery was great, it's just that the story was a bit drab and uninteresting. I'm quite aware that the story is reflecting the character, but films need to be entertaining in one way or another, if not in a more a-typical fun type of manner, atleast in the fundamental ideas or poigniancy or something. It was heart felt, most definitely, but that will only make a piece so good.
I would give the work a 7, but it is fundamentally not a flash video (even if it is framed in flash graphics), so I'm giving you a neutral 5.
God bless our free internet!
Alot, alot, alot of people are going to hate this. It's crude. It's crass. It's gross. But it's so wrong, and it's funny.
Being wrong isn't what makes it funny. It's the delerious glee with which it is wrong that makes it so amusing. I think most people are going to miss that, but I'm sure you know not to let that get you down.
The animation was nice. I very much like the fact that it is black and white. The hanging eyeball is a great touch, and this entire piece (especially the gross close ups) seems to remind me of a Ren and Stimpy clip.
The pacing is great. The sad drama leading up to the turning point makes the turning point that much more effective. The punchline is very reminiscient of the old Aristocrats joke, and is a little simple and absurd, but I think it holds up well here.
I'm very, very, very glad I like in a world which allows free uncensored art like that which is viewed here. Censorship is the devil, my friend, and you are a saint!
John Coene (atheist)
Hey! A kind and well written review from one of my favorite NG artists. I used to watch your movies all the time. Thank you man.
Robin Angelin (atheist)
Not bad, but not good, either.
The animation was a bit on the flat and uninteresting side. The art itself was great, but since you didn't open anything up to multiple shots, or animate things in full 3D, much of it seemed a bit rigid.
The story was a bit cliche, and I think way too simplified (and the narrative was rushed) to really have the effect you wanted. The end shot with Earth in the sky was very cool, and a great note to end on. But the rest of the piece seemed to be an excuse to get the audience to that moment.
Some of it didn't seem to make sense. I know everything is supposed to be odd and confusing, and there is supposed to be a level of mystery behind everything, but, really... some of it was a bit silly. You may imbed an excuse (or "explianation") for this later, but it really seems silly for aliens to abduct someone and then not only give them weaponry that could kill them, but not supply the proper security to prevent that from happening.
I do like the idea of throwing the everywoman into an odd scenario, but it did seem rushed. I'd have liked to get to know the character a bit more, and I think there should have been a little more tension leading up to the abduction, or atleast a better abduction scene than the age old radio fritz cliche.
The shaky camerawork added alot to the piece, especially early on in the car. I think later the shaky camera thing became a little overused and annoying, but if you fleshed a scene out to have more than one angled shot it could have worked much better.
The voice acting seemed a bit staged and lackluster, for both the main character and who we're lead to believe is her boyfriend (or x-boyfriend now, I suppose). I think you needed better voice acting in situations like these, because they're very intimate and rely on subtleties.
Overall the piece was barely below good. I want to give you more credit, because the art is nice and I like where you want to go with the story, but I don't think any of the elements in the film get you there. Great moment to leave us with at the end there with the Earth in the sky, but other than that this piece is a bit underdeveloped.
Good luck on the next one.
yeah, it's pretty unrealistic. with the aliens and all. i know im supposed to be all, Oh thanks for the constructive criticism and shit but i've heard this over 300 times now and it's getting a little old. I'm really frustrated with the turnout, ppl would suck my balls dry if I made another Halomen, but I try to make something decent and original and everyone has tackled it and beat the shit out of it because it's different and new. You say Underdeveloped as if I'm a freaking production company. I'm one dude, I have a life, school is stressful.. I'm trying to make this along the way. And I have two other guys putting in ideas for the scripts and action. Other than that, i'm out here on my own being crucified because I don't live up to other people's standards. Don't take yourself too seriously. I'm trying to have fun. I like making this stuff. But I'm tired of being hounded for not being Adam Phillips or any other Wizard God of the Flash. How the hell are any of you supposed to know if what happens in the cartoon makes sense? What are you basing your opinions on? You've seen 3 minutes of a really complex story. I've given you clues, but you're too dense to see them. I know that reviews like this are not going to stop. The next couple of episodes are out there and they raise more questions, so if that's not your thing.. don't bother watching it.
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